Fear is keeping us from living our lives to the fullest, and in most cases, it is keeping us from achieving anything even close to what we are capable of.
Fear is elusive, however, and is often disguised as something a bit less debilitating, which is why it is not always seen as the true culprit behind so many of our shortcomings.
I am not talking about fear as in being afraid for your life itself, but rather fear that any given situation is not going to turn out the way that we want it to.
Whenever we get into an argument with our spouse or other family member, it is because we are afraid that the situation is not going to be resolved the way we feel that it should be.
Maybe we are afraid that the other person will not see our point of view, and will then make the wrong choices because they were unable to understand what we were saying.
Maybe we are afraid that the person will not see us as a valuable and needed part of their lives, and will then leave us behind.
Maybe we are afraid that we will hurt their feelings or damage their ability to get through life, so we tip-toe around our true beliefs and desires in order to better serve their needs.
Let's look at another example – Our careers.
Many people go to college or some sort of vocational school because they are afraid that without "formal" education, they will not be able to get a good job.
When someone is already working for a particular employer, they are sometimes not 100% satisfied with their job or that employer, but they stay there anyway because they are afraid that they will not be able to find a better job that pays the same, or that has the same benefits as their present job.
We often put up with behavior or negative attitudes from our co-workers because we fear that "rocking the boat" at work will cause us to get fired, lose the respect of our co-workers, or that no one will like us.
What about health and fitness? Is that driven by fear as well?
People get involved in fitness programs every day because they get bad news from their doctor, and they become afraid that their actual life expectancy will be limited if they do not start exercising and eating right.
People start trying to lose weight because they become afraid that they will not be able to find an attractive and successful companion unless they look like one of the actors or models that are all over television, movies, and magazines.
Weight loss programs are started all the time by people who are about to attend a family or class reunion because they are afraid they will be looked down upon by their family members or old classmates unless they appear to be fit, confident, and in control of their lives.
These examples could go on and on and on to encompass every single aspect of the human existence here on planet earth. However, you do not need to read endless examples to see the affect that fear has on your own life every single day.
Simply start examining any given situation that you are feeling anxious or nervous about, and ask yourself what it is that you are afraid of in that situation.
You will find across the board that there is always a resounding reason why you feel anxious about everything from where to find a parking space to whether or not to accept a marriage proposal, or a job offer.
Your fear that something bad will happen if you make the wrong decision is what is driving the thought process for pretty much every decision that you ever make.
Do you really think it is a very good idea to make every decision that you make in your life based on a negative emotion such as fear?
The answer, of course, is No, and you can start eliminating fear from your life right now. All you have to do is realize the simple fact that whatever it is that you are afraid of is going to happen anyway, whether you are afraid of it or not.
In fact, believers in concepts such as the Law of Attraction will recognize that by expressing fear about something, you will only serve to cause the thing that you are afraid of to actually happen.
However, whether or not you believe in your ability to consciously create your life, it is a rock-solid fact that if you express fear about something, no good will come about as a result of that.
Should you respect things that could potentially cause negative circumstances to manifest in your life? Absolutely.
Should you prepare for things in order to minimize the chance that you will not be happy with the results of any given situation? Sure.
However, being afraid that life in general is not going to go your way will only serve to make you ACT from a position of fear. That will very often have implications for your life that are at least as negative as – if not more so – than what would have happened if you had never expressed that fear in the first place.
Remember the following very wise quote:
"Anything that doesn't kill us only makes us stronger."
Unless you are in a situation where your life is in actual danger, always ask yourself if being afraid at that moment is even worth it.
Fear is elusive, however, and is often disguised as something a bit less debilitating, which is why it is not always seen as the true culprit behind so many of our shortcomings.
I am not talking about fear as in being afraid for your life itself, but rather fear that any given situation is not going to turn out the way that we want it to.
Whenever we get into an argument with our spouse or other family member, it is because we are afraid that the situation is not going to be resolved the way we feel that it should be.
Maybe we are afraid that the other person will not see our point of view, and will then make the wrong choices because they were unable to understand what we were saying.
Maybe we are afraid that the person will not see us as a valuable and needed part of their lives, and will then leave us behind.
Maybe we are afraid that we will hurt their feelings or damage their ability to get through life, so we tip-toe around our true beliefs and desires in order to better serve their needs.
Let's look at another example – Our careers.
Many people go to college or some sort of vocational school because they are afraid that without "formal" education, they will not be able to get a good job.
When someone is already working for a particular employer, they are sometimes not 100% satisfied with their job or that employer, but they stay there anyway because they are afraid that they will not be able to find a better job that pays the same, or that has the same benefits as their present job.
We often put up with behavior or negative attitudes from our co-workers because we fear that "rocking the boat" at work will cause us to get fired, lose the respect of our co-workers, or that no one will like us.
What about health and fitness? Is that driven by fear as well?
People get involved in fitness programs every day because they get bad news from their doctor, and they become afraid that their actual life expectancy will be limited if they do not start exercising and eating right.
People start trying to lose weight because they become afraid that they will not be able to find an attractive and successful companion unless they look like one of the actors or models that are all over television, movies, and magazines.
Weight loss programs are started all the time by people who are about to attend a family or class reunion because they are afraid they will be looked down upon by their family members or old classmates unless they appear to be fit, confident, and in control of their lives.
These examples could go on and on and on to encompass every single aspect of the human existence here on planet earth. However, you do not need to read endless examples to see the affect that fear has on your own life every single day.
Simply start examining any given situation that you are feeling anxious or nervous about, and ask yourself what it is that you are afraid of in that situation.
You will find across the board that there is always a resounding reason why you feel anxious about everything from where to find a parking space to whether or not to accept a marriage proposal, or a job offer.
Your fear that something bad will happen if you make the wrong decision is what is driving the thought process for pretty much every decision that you ever make.
Do you really think it is a very good idea to make every decision that you make in your life based on a negative emotion such as fear?
The answer, of course, is No, and you can start eliminating fear from your life right now. All you have to do is realize the simple fact that whatever it is that you are afraid of is going to happen anyway, whether you are afraid of it or not.
In fact, believers in concepts such as the Law of Attraction will recognize that by expressing fear about something, you will only serve to cause the thing that you are afraid of to actually happen.
However, whether or not you believe in your ability to consciously create your life, it is a rock-solid fact that if you express fear about something, no good will come about as a result of that.
Should you respect things that could potentially cause negative circumstances to manifest in your life? Absolutely.
Should you prepare for things in order to minimize the chance that you will not be happy with the results of any given situation? Sure.
However, being afraid that life in general is not going to go your way will only serve to make you ACT from a position of fear. That will very often have implications for your life that are at least as negative as – if not more so – than what would have happened if you had never expressed that fear in the first place.
Remember the following very wise quote:
"Anything that doesn't kill us only makes us stronger."
Unless you are in a situation where your life is in actual danger, always ask yourself if being afraid at that moment is even worth it.
Jul 25, 2010, 3:34:00 AM
yeah we have anxious moments for everything.Fear/anxiety for everything and anything including fear of losing readership lest your blog gets too boring. i have that too.
But i guess there comes a point we learn to cope with it isn't it?
Maybe even when we don't ask ourself our brain mechanism is such that unable to control we look for diversions and many a time these diversions help.
Somewhere i had also read-Bhaya bin haut na preeti Gopala...meaning sometimes fear is positive...without fear there can be no devotion.
Nice to read ur posts which have so many nuances of life :)
Jul 25, 2010, 10:07:00 AM
Tobacco kills. It is beyond doubt. But for the smoker who is not able to kick the habit and smokes every puff in fear of death due to the knowledge of the fact that tobacco kills, that actually kills him before tobacco kills him.
Over 90% of deaths in snake bite cases take place before the poison actually reaches and paralyses the brain, due to sheer fear of death that is sure in snake bite.
You might have come to know of some amazing survivals despite fatal injuries in road accidents. They indicate lack of fear of death, a true will to live.
Fear is integral part of life. A clear understanding of MY fears allows me to live with MY fears... and MY fears are MINE alone!
Jul 26, 2010, 12:28:00 AM
Yes!! Shivani we all have our fears. Its human tendency when things don't go our way and eventually we are forced to cope with it. Thanks for your thought provoking comment.
Bhavaji, its true some fears cling to us for life. Then there are instances like you mention where fear itself can encourage you to do incredible things. Probably its the instant flow of adrenaline or some hormonal surplus which gets humans to go beyond their normal functions. Animals too show this trait and definitely gets me thinking further on this issue. Thanks for your food for thought comment.