For years, I had lists of things that I wanted to do, but year after year would go by and I wouldn’t even begin because I was afraid I wouldn’t finish. Last year end I set a goal to write everyday. I started out really strong as usual, then half way through I found I didn’t have anything to say. Now I am stumbling…
Then there is this 'No time' thing. When I say I don’t have the time, what I really mean is I don’t want to. When I take a good look at my life, I see that I made time to do all the things I really wanted to do for whatever reason. It could be that I made myself get to work at 7am because I wanted to keep my job. Or I spend time chatting on the phone because I enjoy the connection.
Good or bad, everything that I chose to do was done exactly for that reason: I chose it.
When we say that we don’t have the time, what we are really saying is that it is not a priority at this point in our life. When you think about it that way you will find a way to make the time. I did everything I thought was important.
I have realised that my spiritual practice keeps me sane. In past years, this would be another one of those things I would start and stop in 3 months. This year spending 30 minutes in the morning reminding myself of my true Self saved me. It kept me focused on the bigger picture. It helped me to recognize it in others. It helped me to be kinder to myself and others.
I am not in a race. I have no competitors. I don’t even have to out-do myself. It’s such a relief coming to that realization. I always thought that if I went easy on myself my life would go to the pot. In reality, the complete opposite happened.
I got stronger and softer. I gained freedom and lost control. I had more to be proud of and felt no need to be proud.
Every step we take in the direction of our dreams, there are ten directions toward you. Let's start small with courage. If you want to be a public speaker, go to the Toastmasters and be the timer. If you want to have love, start smiling at potential partners. If you want to run a marathon, start with a walk around the block and keep going.
One of the tenets of my faith is that the creator is all good all the time and everywhere present. This realization helped me to stay open to the possibilities at times when I would have tried to make things happen in a particular way. Making things happen is infinitely more difficult than allowing them to happen.
Imagine that only good can come of anything and there are infinite realities of that good. When that happens, you can’t go wrong.
I’ve been through a lot of painful stuff last few years. But the thing that makes life painful is not having faith and not getting what you want; it’s shutting your connection off and looking outside yourself to fix it.
Your life will hence be full with contentment.
Mar 3, 2010, 3:42:00 AM
Beautiful words so well said.Bravo! and as i let this trickle down to me i can already feel the ease.Totally with you in all you had to say and at the moment learning to trust that whatever happens happens for the good and there is definitely some order in the scheme of things that may look chaotic at times.yeah let's go with the flow...:)
Mar 3, 2010, 4:57:00 AM
Thanks Shivani.